Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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