Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
