going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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