Just mADE A PArabola og urine
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
