the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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