If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so let's talk penis.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize