You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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