a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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