drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
