I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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