we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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