Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My cat gives me a boner
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
