Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
