Joe is yelling at the trees again.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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