lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
