you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
