after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
