All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
