we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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