I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
BRING THE BAGELS
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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