a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
