Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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