so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
