I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize