Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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