People in love make me want to vomit
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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