I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
