i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
