I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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