I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
