so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
