Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she smelled like a LAN party
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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