he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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