we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
