I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
