That's when you crack a 10am beer
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
