How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
