I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
