My hand turned me down
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
