As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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