aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
