He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
