On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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