JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
