okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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