I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
