I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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