If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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