best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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