what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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