New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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