he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
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Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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