I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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