Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
