All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
