Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
